Officially "Mommy" and "Daddy!"

Today Zach and I became "Mommy" and "Daddy."  I would say this is official considering we were called this about 1,000 times in a 2-hour time span :)  I don't even know where to start with today because I am still trying to process everything... but I can say that today was an answered prayer.  Over a years worth of prayers from so many people were heard today!  I truly felt God's presence as I hugged my kids for the first time. 

The plan is for us to hang out with the kids again tomorrow evening and then they will officially move in on Saturday morning.  Praise God for these beautiful children and for taking us through this trialing process in order to eventually have them as ours.     

*We are sorry if we have not called everyone back yet!  We have been on the phone with family all night (particularly some very excited grandparents!), but we will catch up with everyone soon!

Slowly Moving Forward...

Well, we had our looooooooooooooong awaited staffing today.  To sum it up we are moving forward and will have our court date this Friday at 8:30 a.m.  As of right now, there is no way of knowing what will happen.  The foster mom, CPS and professionals that have worked with the kids will testify... then the judge will have the final verdict of who the kids will be adopted to.  CPS did talk to me about testifying about my education/background and I am not sure at the moment if I am going to do that. 

We have 2 prayer requests:

1. That the judge will ultimately make the decision that is best for N & R. 

2. Selfishly I hope that this will be a quick verdict.  We were told that it could take up to a week (which means three) to hear the judge's decision or he could make it that day.  Everything that you think would be joyful about this process has been so disheartening.  "You were chosen for the kids, BUT... We are going to have the staffing, BUT... it almost makes the situation feel impossible.  Zach and I have waited so long with one delay after another, I just pray for the peace of a final decision and finally the opportunity to feel joy about our kids.

Thank you for every one's calls, thoughts and prayers!  We are beyond blessed with the support that we have had during this process! 

Beyond Delays...

I am posting this because we need more prayers than we ever have during this whole adoption process!  We received a call from our adoption coordinator this morning that our meeting (the one that has been postponed several times) is not going to happen next week.  The kids' foster mother showed up yesterday with a lawyer and is going to try to get approval to adopt the kids.  I can't go into the details, but basically we now have to go to court and the judge has to decide what is best for the kids.  Our staffing meeting (the one we have been waiting for) is now scheduled for August 22nd and the court date is set for August 26th.  We were told that it typically takes about a week before hearing the final decision from the judge.  Zach and I are basically numb-- I really didn't see this one coming because we were so close-- but we know that God is in control.  He has to be or why else would Zach and I consider going to court for kids that we have never even met before... pure craziness... I know! 

Our prayer request is that the judge makes the decision that is best for the kids and that we are able to handle the outcome.

Delay #43297429387928758

I received a call from our adoption coordinator last night that our final presentation meeting that we had rescheduled to next Tuesday probably will not happen.  CPS is saying that the kids have to have a wellness check-up before we can even meet for the staffing-- apparently this has been known, but the earliest the foster mom could get an appointment was August 15th-- I am not really sure why we are just now finding this out, but I would drive myself insane trying to figure out everything with this process.  Our coordinator is working to see if we can still have the meeting and then wait to meet the kids until after the doctor's appointment-- if not the earliest we would be able to have the meeting is August 16th.  Either way, school starts in 2 weeks and my concern was that it was just going to be too overwhelming to get new parents, move from their foster home to a new house and start school all within a couple of days.  So I talked to our coordinator and since we are doing straight adoption-- they said it is our choice if we want to start school a week or two late.  I did feel less stressed about all of the delays when I found that out.

So our prayer is that we would completely give God control of when this meeting will happen.  Zach and I talked last night that maybe the kids need more time to prepare for this transition.  Or maybe we do too :)  It is extremely frustrating at this moment, but I know looking back in 6 months I will understand why everything happened when it did.

Another Delay...

Found out today that the adoption meeting we were supposed to have this week has been postponed until next Tuesday afternoon due to the CPS supervisor being on vacation until next week.  Really nothing else to report... just wanted to keep everyone updated since lots of people have been calling.  Thank you for every one's prayers and support! 

Almost There!

Zach and I did receive the kids' case files hours before we left for vacation last Tuesday!  We spent many hours in the car reading them and then on Friday we let our adoption coordinator know that we were ready to move forward.  The next step is to meet with the kids' caseworker to get all of our questions asked, start the paperwork and set up the first meeting with the kids.  I do not have a definite time line, but the plan is for the kids to move in within the next couple of weeks.  We are sooooooooooooooooooooooo excited and thankful that our prayers have finally been answered!   

More than ever we need every one's prayers during these next couple of weeks.  With meeting the kids, transitioning to live at our house, getting to know each other, starting school, etc. it is going to be a crazy month! 

Still Waiting...

Well... Zach and I did not get the case files last week like we were told.  There is a slight chance that we will get the files tomorrow before we leave for vacation, but I am definitely not getting my hopes up.  If not, I am hoping that we will be able to pick them up when we get back from the Ozarks.  We are just continuing to place everything in God's hands because we definitely have NO control over anything in this process!

Thank you for every one's prayers and please keep praying for Natalia and Robert... for God to be preparing their hearts for this transition if it is his will!

ACTUAL ADOPTION NEWS!!!

I could write an entire book on these past 2 months since my last post, but it is pointless to dwell on the details... plus, I do not even know where to start to put everything into words.  What is important to announce is that through God's amazing grace Zach and I were chosen for 2 kids!  We cannot give any details at this time except that their names are Natalia (5 years old) and Robert (3 years old).  At this point it is not 100% that everything will go through and there are still steps that have to be taken in order to finalize everything.  The next step is for Zach and I to meet with CPS sometime next week.  Please pray for Natalia and Robert... to be preparing their hearts for this huge transition if it is God's will for us to be a family.  We also ask that you pray for guidance, patience and peace for Zach and I as we continue this journey.

Thank you for every single prayer and all of the support thus far; hopefully we will have more news to announce soon!

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9

"But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction." Job 36:15

The reason that I haven't posted anything in about a month is because there has been absolutely nothing to post.  We literally heard nothing from our adoption agency for over two weeks and when we did finally hear something it was profiles of kids that did not match our 2 kids/0-8 years old range.  I am not going to lie, this past month has been truly a test of faith; especially with Mother's Day falling in the right in the middle of it.

I am so grateful to have such an amazing husband and supportive friends that were with me during my times of doubt.  More than ever I struggled with knowing if God was closing the door on adoption for us, telling us that we were to go in a different direction or was putting us through a trial of trust. 

What truly allowed me to get through this time was a simple statement from a wonderful friend on a rough day... "Sometimes we just need to embrace our sufferings."  I realized that I was fighting my struggles and continually letting them win.  When she said this statement I realized that sometimes I just have to stop and let God take me through whatever trials he needs in order to be prepared for what he has planned.

My trials have not ended, but God has definitely begun to open doors.   We have received more profiles that match us in the past 5 days than we have in the entire past 2 months.  We currently have asked for our home study to be submitted for 5 separate sets of siblings.  It is now all in God's hands and we only pray that he continues to open/close doors to guide us in the direction he has planned for us.


"...rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perservance; perserverance, character; and character- hope." Romans 5:3

A Step in the Right Direction

Well today Zach and I were finally able to get a hold of the adoption director at our agency.  She said that she has been out of town a lot and has been playing catch up for awhile... (insert sigh of frustration here).  I was able to get a bunch of questions answered and she said from this point on she would make sure to respond to any questions that we have.  To sum up the conversation:

- Our home study was submitted about 3 weeks ago for the 2 kids in Houston, but she said that since we haven't heard anything most likely we were not chosen.

- She suggested that we broaden our range for older kids and 3 or more (we get a lot of profiles with these ranges).  Zach and I talked tonight and we are staying with our original decision of 2 kids up to 8 years old.  With our age and this being our first time as parents we feel that is the best decision.  


Prayer Request:  For us to continue waiting patiently until God is ready to reveal our kids to us and to remove any doubt that we encounter. 

Nada

Latest: A bunch of you guys have been anxiously asking what is the latest with the adoption... the answer is a whole bunch of nothing!  We did receive an email from the adoption director last week apologizing that she has been so unavailable in the past month and that she was going to catch up with all of the families' statuses.  That was last Wednesday and we still have not heard anything about the two little boys that we asked our home study to be submitted for.  We still do not know if we were even chosen to be sent to the Houston office for the initial evaluation.  Sooooo.... as always we are just putting everything is God's hands. 

Prayer Request: That we continue to trust in God's perfect timing and not get frustrated when things do not happen when we think they should. 

Out of Our Hands

I have come to realize that every step of the adoption process is a whole new venture of its own.  Just when you think that you have figured out how to handle the current emotional stressors you move on to the next step and have to start all of over. 


Latest: We began receiving profiles on kids legally free for adoption last week.  I don't think that anything could have emotionally prepared me for the abundance of kids' heartbreaking stories that were sent to us.  I cannot even express the need of so many kids right here in Texas that have been through more in their short lives than any of us combined. 


Zach and I did request that our home study be submitted for one of the sibling groups sent to us.  With the specific location that this sibling group is at, they only allow each agency to submit 2 families.  If we are one of the 2 families then our home study is sent to the adoption agency in charge of the kids' case where they will decide the best match out of all of the home studies sent from all around Texas.  The frustrating thing is that there is absolutely no communication with us beyond us asking to be submitted.  We are not even told if we were one of the two families chosen.  So now we just wait... and know that we are waiting to maybe never hear anything about this sibling group.  From what I understand they only contact us if we are chosen as a match for the kids.


Prayer Request:  More than ever we are learning to completely put our trust in God.  My prayer request is that we continue to completely rely on Him with every passing day that we hear nothing.   

Adoption Update

Latest: Zach and I heard from the adoption agency today and we have begun to receive profiles of children available for adoption.  Within 15 minutes we received 6 profiles from kids all over Texas.  It is exciting, yet overwhelming all at the same time.  It is amazing to think that out of all of these profiles that God already knows which children are going to become apart of our family. 

Prayer Request: That God would guide us through the application process and give us a peace about the direction we are to take.

Worldly vs. Godly Perspectives of Adoption

The difference between a worldly view of adoption versus God's view of adoption became very apparent to me this weekend.  Ever since we began the adoption process a daily annoyance of mine has been the negative remarks and questions we get about adopting older children from abused/neglected homes.  For example...

- "You know those children are beyond anyone's help"
- "How sad that you can't have children of your own."
- "My friend adopted... and that child (insert negative comment here)"

and my personal favorite...

- "Don't you know that you can get a baby?"

This weekend I had the privlege of being surrounded by amazing women filled with the holy spirit at a ladies retreat... and when you are meeting a bunch of women that you don't know one of the first questions that always comes up is "Do you have kids?"  So I had the opportunity to share the great news about our upcoming adoption with several people.  Not one time this weekend did any of these women respond with negativity.  Instead these they were filled with joy, prayed with me and shared their own adoption stories.  They were honest at how hard adopting from CPS can be, but they were supportive and shared helpful advice with me.

When you look at "less than perfect" situations from a wordly perspective it is amazing at how hopeless people think they are.... but when viewed from God's perspective anything is possible.


Latest News: We signed our licensing papers on Thursday night!  We are hoping to start receiving profiles of kids available for adoption this upcoming week.

Prayer Request: For God to be preparing the hearts of the kids for their upcoming transition into our family.


"You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more."  Psalms 10:14,17-18

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

My purpose of this blog is to help keep everyone updated of where we are at in our adoption process.  It has also helped me to read other people's blogs about their adoption process... so maybe my blog will in turn help somebody else.


Catching You Up: 
- 2003: While Zach and I were dating (and I already knew he was the one :) we discussed that we both wanted to adopt at some point in our life together.

- 2006-2009: Zach and I tried to get pregnant for about 3 years.  After our controversial fertility tests coming back normal and still no success... we decided that it was just not God's timing for us to have a baby and we were just going to place it in his hands.  This was a very hard lesson for us to learn, but we both have such a peace now that we know God is in control.

- August 2010: I took a job at a foster care company as a Senior Behavior Analyst.  I thought that my purpose was to open a preschool for children with special needs... but I now know that God had other plans.  It was here that God opened my eyes to the unimaginable need for orphan care right here in Texas. 
- After about two weeks into my job I came home and told Zach that I felt God was leading us in the direction of adoption.  Zach's response: "If that is where God is leading us, then that is what we will do." :)

- September 2010: We began looking into agencies and decided on Arrow Adoption.  We then began our first of 14 classes.

- February 2011: We finished our classes!

- March 2011: We passed our home study and finished getting all of our requirements in to the agency.


The Latest:  Our licensing appointment is scheduled for tomorrow night at 6 p.m.  This is our final step before the agency will begin matching us up with kids and sending us profiles.  For those of you that do not know... Zach and I are looking to adopt 2 siblings between the ages of 3-7... race and gender does not matter to us.    


Prayer Request: That Zach and I continue to rely on God's perfect timing as opposed to becoming anxious because things are not happening as quickly as we would like.